I type this with dread. I can’t believe I’m reacting this way but here it is – I have a massive pit in my stomach and I have a panicked feeling this afternoon over the fact that tomorrow my baby will board the bus and leave for all day Kindergarten.
I don’t remember feeling this way with Nate, my oldest, when he started Kindergarten. Sure, I remember being nervous about it and I remember missing him, but I also remember feeling that we were BOTH ready for him to take that next step.
Tomorrow, Cole will leave me for the day as he starts his first day of Kindergarten. He’s ready. 100%, he is ready, excited and has been talking about the moment he can board the bus with his brother for almost two years now.
But this time, I AM NOT READY.
I can’t help but think back to years ago. I remember so many moments when I had a 3-year-old and an infant or a 4-year-old and a toddler and I thought – this is OVERWHELMING. I remember feeling like I had no time to myself and thinking about all the Moms who put their children on the bus and had 8 hours a day. 8 hours a day!! It seemed dreamy.
Time moves so quickly and those days of my boys being in diapers, or being small, seem like a lifetime ago already. I yearn for those days.
Tomorrow, my baby, my shopping buddy, my sous chef, my mini-me who is my little buddy all day long, will leave me and head out for his first day as an elementary school student. I’m a friggin’ wreck. There’s something about your last one leaving you – it’s just heart wrenching.
The only thing I’m clinging to is how excited he is! He woke up this morning and asked if today was the day. His excitement is palpable. And he’s been so bored – I know it’s the right thing for him.
But for this mama, it’s a right of passage and if you know me and see my locally and I’m sobbing my eyes out, you know why. (God help me when he’s off to college, someone’s gonna have to commit me.)