Ten years ago earlier this month, Hubby and I said our big I Dos. We got married on September 8th and jetted off for two fun-filled and relaxing weeks in Hawaii for our honeymoon. While there, we swore we’d take a huge trip back for our 10 year anniversary in September of 2011.
“We’ll come for a month!”
“We’ll bring our kids to enjoy the island. And our parents too so they can watch the kids when we go out!”
We had all sorts of grandoise plans for what our ten year anniversary would be like as only two young married people without children or any sense of reality of life with kids can do.
Fast forward to this past spring.
Hubby: “You know, our ten year anniversary is coming up this fall.”
Me: “Yup.”
Hubby: “We’re going somewhere… right? Without the kids… ?”
See, both of us travel a ton. Hubby more than me but we both have left the kids on numerous occasions for business trips. But the point is – rarely have we gone together. Oh we’ve had the odd weekend here and there away for a wedding but it’s never been far and never more than two nights away. (And only once was it a flight and that was only up to Boston.)
But here I am, on the eve of leaving my children for 4 nights – as I fly to Puerto Rico. I’m nervous. I wish I could say I’m over the moon excited. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to hang on the beach with hubby, a book and a drink but my stress level’s definitely overshadowing my excitement for rest & relaxation.
While this trip meets all of my requirements (Must be a direct flight from Philly and be tropical), it’s still FAR AWAY and my kids will have BOTH of their parents gone.
My parents are here. They are the next best thing and my kids love them. But both kids have lamented that they don’t want us to go – only serving to pull at my heart strings even more.
What if Cole falls and skins his knee and cries that he wants me? What about in the middle of the night when he comes into our bed looking to cuddle with me (which he does most nights) and I’m not there? What if Nate does something great at school and he’s proud and wants to share it with me, I’m not here and he’s sad?
I know my kids will survive. I know they will be fine. *I* will be fine once I get on the plane tomorrow morning and have a big fat Mimosa. But it doesn’t help that I’m a total nutjob and have a pit in my stomach about leaving them.
Sometimes I think I’m the only one because everyone I asks rolls their eyes at me and teases me that they can’t wait to get the heck out of dodge and be kid-free. Someone out there tell me I’m not the only one. Puleeze.
You are definitely not the only one. Thinking of leaving my 2yo behind for even 5 days makes me queasy. Yes, I want a break but it’s scary to think of being so far away in case they need you.
iF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR BOYS AT HOME WITH A SITTER, YOU HAVE HIT THE JACKPOT!!!!
KNOWING YOUR PARENTS, THEY WILL NEVER LET THEM OUT OF THEIR SIGHT FOR A MOMENT!!!
THE BOYS WILL HAVE SO MANY ACTIVITIES, GAMES ETC., NOT TO MENTION NIGHTTIME CUDDLES, THAT THEY WILL HAVE TO HAVE A 3 DAY REST WHEN YOU GET HOME. AND THE CATS!!!! YOU KNOW THEY WILL BE PAMPERED!!!!
OH BOY, I WISH I WERE A FLY ON THE WALL!!!!
HAVE A FUN TRIP AND HAVE 2 MIMOSAS!!!!!
No you’re not the only one! I know as much as my kids drive me nuts, the moment we are out of one another’s presence, I begin to think about them. What are they eating? Are they going to bed on time? So forth and so on. It’s a mother’s natural instinct to worry about her kids. As much as we need our own adult time, we still have that other part of us tugging. That umbilical cord will always be there. My daughters are 6, 11, 17 and 21 and I am always thinking of them all when I have to go away, even if it’s just for a weekend!
We left our 3 children 2 years ago for our 10th for the first time ever. I was leaving our then 9, 6 and 2 year old with my very capable but no children of her own sister. I left what has become known in our family as “The Bible”, as everything she needed to know was in it. I wrote down a schedule, emergency contacts, pizza delivery numbers along with gift cards and cash. I placed directions to places she would, could or might want to go to along with notes to the kids from us so they would know we were thinking of them. a little over the top maybe but I used our webcam to record me reading a bedtime story. I also planned some visits with close friends, so that they were distracted from missing us (not that they did cause Auntie had an ice cream social every day) but it also gave my sister a chance to “take a mental break”. The kids did great, my sister got some fabulous Auntie time in and my husband and I found that after our initial fears that the house would burn down, tornado, kids crying non stop over missing us , that everything was fine. We got to be “us” again and actually eat a meal where the word Happy did not appear on the menu and nothing was a nugget. it was good for all of us to have some time away! we went again last year and had an amazing time.
JJ – so great to hear, even better hearing that you went away again next year! That’s promising to hear!
Enjoy! I can totally relate though! Hubby & I are going on a cruise in 6 mos. & I am already stressing!
Then first vacation I took away from my two kids, son eas 6 and dght. was5, was 1980. I went to Fla., all over basically for two weeks, with friends. Afraid, scared and a feeling of guilt, until I got into the car and hit the highway! My Kids were safe with my family. I called when I arrived and that was it. No cells back then. I truly enjoyed myself, I needed it. I was so relaxed and a more patient mom when I got home. Your kids will be OK, but I understand your feelings. Go without guilt and have fun!
Thanks Karen! I did feel better once I left… funny how that happens!
Nope not the only one. We leave next Friday for 8 day rv and cycling trip to socal. Nana coming to watch our 20 mo girl whom she doesn’t know that well. Very stressed about it. At least her grandpa whom she absolutely adores will also be here if he ever gets over his virus… Who btw, is also the nana’s ex. They get along great… Should be interesting
Wow Kate, that’s pretty crazy but awesome that they get along and are coming together to watch their granddaugther together. Great for you to have them both and have a great time on your trip!!
Congrats on your 10 year, we will be celebrating ours in December. I am hoping to take a weeks vacation this summer to celebrate without the kiddos. As you and your husband we too travel a lot but not for fun but for business and I think sometimes (I know for us) our lives have taken over and you tend to forget what really matters…having a great marriage together. Enjoy your time away and know that your marriage will be better for it and you will be a better mother for it because you getting time for yourself and hubby! Again, Congrats and ENJOY every minute of it!